When things are simply put as they are in this poem, a man can see how complicated things can get when we don't stop talking. This poem makes me think of the camel leader, always happy and motivating others by example, singing in the hot summer desert or the feeling you get when you visit a neighbor and they are glad to see you and though not a word may be uttered, there is a connection establishing you as neighbors.
I really like the change from acquaintance to friend in this poem, especially the term 'walking partner'. The only thing I would maybe do is add an 'a' so the 4th line: "Love to have a walking partner"
3 comments:
When things are simply put as they are in this poem, a man can see how complicated things can get when we don't stop talking. This poem makes me think of the camel leader, always happy and motivating others by example, singing in the hot summer desert or the feeling you get when you visit a neighbor and they are glad to see you and though not a word may be uttered, there is a connection establishing you as neighbors.
Great poem. Don't change anything.
I really like the change from acquaintance to friend in this poem, especially the term 'walking partner'. The only thing I would maybe do is add an 'a' so the 4th line: "Love to have a walking partner"
Dear Michi
Thank you very much. I like your interest to improve my writing as well as the way you suggest.
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