I saw a playing child with a smile of an innocent the eyes were big and bright like moon in a sky
I felt a rain drop dropping on the child face when I closed eyes, a joy of life on the way I heard breathing sound of a child’s mother when I opened eye, I saw mother’s on a bay
I walked out in rain to assist in the child’s play l assume that child’s father must be mile away
I amused my self like a child’s grandmother I prayed for her “The love of life don’t go away “ I proclaimed that now my time don't go away with knight Let me go to experience an innocent play in a full moon night ---Following translation is in the Hindi (The national language of India)खेल पूर्णिमाकी श्वेत चंदानीमे
3 comments:
I liked the images in this poem. For grammar, you need to add some a's, the's, or my's.
for instance:
1. like the moon in a sky
2.When I closed my eyes
3. I heard a breathing sound
4. I opened my eyes
5. Walked out in the rain
6. that the child's father
7. Miles away (not just be mile away)
8. Myself is one word.
I'm not sure if I understand the last two lines. I don't exactly know what you are trying to say, so I can't recommend any changes. Sorry.
Dear Michi, you are helping to improve his grammer. Gajendra's blog i understood the last two lines of the poem. Grandma spent her wholelife with the knight (AKA grandpa) and now she wants to spend her time with her grandchild in the full moons night. Also if you notice in the fourth transa it is mentioned that her son (childs father) went to protect the nation/kingdom. :) Courtney CF
Dear Michi & Courtney
I appriciate improving syntax and grammar.
I hope that you will continue to read and comment on the blog, and that it will benefit us from exposure to Eastern thinking.
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